How do I get this anger out of my soul, Lord,

Free it from my heart, so I can see what you see,

Believe what you believe, and just Be –

Secure and safe in the knowledge that you are with me,

Guiding me every step of the way, even when I can't see                 

Or feel or taste your Love –

Or see the Plan – grand, it must be

In the scheme of cosmic things –

I have to pray so hard just to keep it all tamed,

This rampant disappointment in Humanity, and

Others, and You, I suppose, let alone Me – the

One with all the potential and promise, or so

They all said, my family and friends, Once –

But, as few as there are those who count in my

Heart, there are fewer still where I count in theirs,

And it saddens me so, to know this –

That my legacy will be that of a solo trek and

Journey through a wilderness domain that no

Other ever sought to travel – or seek, in quite the

Same way as this journey has unfolded – so bereft

Of company and encouragement.  Or, when it comes,

It is only from those who have learned how to mimic

The sounds and look of approval, wanting to make

Sure that there is something on record that makes

Me think it is genuine, but it never is, Lord, it has

Never been.

And this, in an innocent heart, is the worst betrayal,

Because I cannot see them otherwise:  except to believe

That the interest is real, and that the accolades are well-

Meant and deserved.  But over and over and over again,

I am touched by the depth of incapacity in those who

Have not yet learned to be Real.   It is easier I guess, to

Mock and ridicule me, or worse, placate any sense of

Expectation I might have by going through the motions

Of Sincerity.     

How shallow it always rings, that sound,

Hardly disguised, as if it could be.  When an eager heart

Is on the line, waiting in the wings.   

                              __©2007 Phyllis A Travis__